Froback Friday is a weekly feature of a music video from the platinum age of hip hop. 1998-2003, when rap was truly crossing over into the mainstream and I was regularly attending middle school dances.
On an elementary school field trip to the downtown mall, I wandered off to Sam Goody to pick up a copy of Miss E… So Addictive. The clerk told me he was hesitant to give a diminutive boy access to so many adult words. I assured him that my mom would not come into the store bringing trouble for this sale – of course she wouldn’t, I kept all the jewel cases with the enormous PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT CONTENT stickers in a secure location. Anyway, how else was I supposed to learn anything about women?
The “One Minute Man” video starts with a guy in an afro and leisure suit getting a room at the Get Ur Freak On Hotel. The sassy receptionist explains the rooms cost $10/minute and shakes the feathers lining her umbrella-sized zebra hat. Meanwhile, Timbaland is scouring the halls with a tall glass of water and Missy is dancing choreography with bell boys while wearing trousers situated somewhere between Girbaud stripes and leather jogging pants.
The first of the fantasy rooms has a shirtless dude in a tree branch who gets completely baffled when Missy takes off her head, sets it down and then dances in the other corner of the room. The second room is where Ms. Elliott is dancing with no gravity in a Japanese-themed suite. She’s wearing an orange leather outfit, a full two years before Uma Thurman’s similar ensemble in Kill Bill.
Ludacris plays the janitor; fixing the clocks, pulling drain plugs out of baths and using a remote-controlled bed like a mechanical bull. He also rocks two women’s beds in an infant-fantasy room. The underwear-clad women are in some sort of a trance and their beds are leaking, which may have had a sizably negative influence on my subsequent sex life. But speaking of pre-teen sexual influences, that chopped bit of video where Trina’s on the bed will forever be ingrained in my memory. Da Baddest Bitch is posted up in a Salvador Dali-puzzle room with two long-haired dudes performing coordinating dances. Finally, the song switches up with “Whatcha Gon’ Do” at the end, like so many great platinum age rap videos. Missy slides on the floor followed by a two-woman army and Ginuwine is hanging out in the lobby. The video ends after just over four minutes.