With the horrible, no-good news that Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus Cousins is not actually making an R&B album on this dark April Fool’s (as was previously reported by a guy mentioned by Drake in a song), it’s cold comfort that Miami Heat forward LeBron James decided to karaoke a verse over a Jay Z song. NBA players rapping is hardly a rare occurrence, it was almost 20 years ago exactly that more than a dozen stars and role players made a 16-track tape with original production. So when TMZ Sports says James had an “EPIC RAP SESSION,” it’s TMZ doing their thing and not the rapping.
It’s LeBron James rapping in the same start-stop cadence as Rick Ross on the Jay Z single “Fuckwithmeyouknowigotit,” off his second worst album ever, Magna Carta Holy Grail. There’s nothing about Delonte West, Dan Gilbert, the rapper Lambo who’s dating his mom, the city of Cleveland, or even basketball for that matter. Actually, the remarkable thing is how James says precisely nothing over 14 bars, almost like a real rapper. It’s a lot of “I’m better than others,” with the only nouns being “France,” “Costco” and “Robert Deniro.” He does mention a watch coming out, but I’m broke so who cares? And he brags about having two rings, which isn’t impressive since Dwyane Wade has spent the last year unrelentingly branding himself as having one more ring than James.
As TMZ points out, this isn’t the first time James has rapped. However, while both are much better than when this year’s MVP Kevin “Johnny No Swag” Durant tried to rap over a different Jay Z song a few years back, they’re nothing compared to Knicks guard Iman Shumpert rapping over Migos’ “Versace.” This basic freestyle is news because LeBron James is the best basketball player probably ever, but it would’ve been cool if he put more effort into it than I did when I was rapping over “Xxplosive” as a pre-teen. This is why “Boogie Smooth” Cousins would’ve been so great; it was unexpected, creative and had the potential to actually be good. Please Boogie, I know it started as a joke to launch your website, but you can still make this a reality!
Listen to LeBron’s verse below unless you want to hear a good rap song.